If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
