Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
