no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Found the puke drawer
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Boobs are out for the taking
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
