summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
your like the ambassador to my penis.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Panties = found
Randomize
