Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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