4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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