Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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