If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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