Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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