Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
