google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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