where am i from again
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
