So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
