Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
