just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
