You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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