I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
