You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just forgot I was standing up.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
