Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize