it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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