I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
