apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
it was like eating out sand paper
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
