forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize