I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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