Where is the hickey?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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