Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The feeling are messing with the penis
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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