yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
