I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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