Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
