Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
