I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's never too late to be topless.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
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