I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
