Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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