Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
