i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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