how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
