Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize