This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
