He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
