This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
