well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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