If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
