How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Someone signed my nipple.
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