North Korea, Best Korea!
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
