His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
