I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
