Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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