We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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