Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
