his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
