Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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