woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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