So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Randomize
