if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you traded sex for a burrito?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
