Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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