A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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