I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize