i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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